Smile

"Smile though your heart is aching,

Smile even though it breaking.

Though there are clouds in the sky,

You'll get by.

If you'll smile through your pain and sorrow,

Smile and maybe tomorrow,

You'll see the sun come shining through,

Just for you."

"That song always makes me cry." Charlie said as she made the last turn into our driveway. She was, in fact, crying a little.
I noticed this as I discreetly glanced at her through the barely reflective glass. We had gotten into rather nasty fight earlier, and we were not necessarily "speaking". The car ride thus far had been silent other than the radio.We had agreed upon an oldies station before the fight, and were both now enjoying it even after the fight."That's a good song, you're right. Didn't Charlie Chaplain write it?" I ventured."It's not good- It's great. And ya. He did." She answered.

Misfortune

The old woman dragged her rucksack behind her. With each step, she released a soft groan, the kind that is unassuming and courteous. As she shuffled along you could see her soft, grey hair slowing falling from the bun she had so meticulously constructed. She was hard to spot, being only one of many, but still, it was her I watched as the mass of people staggered along. A young man unintentionally bumped her as he tried to locate his family, and did not notice that he was what finally uncreated her delicate bun of hair. As the soft strands fell about her face, she seemed to slow slightly. Almost as if she was considering a stop, so that she might refashion her hair.

Insanity

She entered her room. Silently.

She sat there. Silently.

She rocked back and forth. Silently.

She stared. Silently.

She swallowed her pills. Silently.

She spit out her pills. Silently.

She pulled at her hair. Silently.

She walked down the hall. Silently.

She sat in the chair. Silently.

Then all was silent.

Memory

I can remember a time when I was excited to learn, to study. It wasn't "fun", necessarily, but I derived joy from it. I would memorize, summarize, itinerize- make fun what was necessary.

Now, though, all I want to do is lay about, sleep, read, draw. I feel no incentive to study. I feel no joy after completing homework. At least, not that kind of joy. The joy I remember.

Is this what it is to grow up? If so, I want no part of it.

Breathe Again

Cool.

Bubbles.

Shadow.

BIG faces!

Fingers tap on glass.

LOUD!

Food flakes.

Yum!

Circle circle.

Wiggle swim wiggle.

Happy.

Drive

HOLY CRAP. HOLY CRAP. HOLY CRAP.

I can NOT have just failed my driver's licence test. It's impossible. Sherilyn passed her first time, and Sherilyn is an IDIOT.

I look over at the smug, barely-apologetic, and yet somewhat-afraid-of-me face of the driving instructor. He goes on and on about this and that formality, but all I can think about is how now I am going to have to tell my parents. How now I am still going to have to get rides from my parents. How my dad is going to walk over any second, beaming, trying to contain his excitement when he asks, so subtly, So- how did it go?".

You know, I think I'll like popping his bubble. My parents are to convinced that I'm perfect anyway. This will be a good way to show them that am NOT capable of everything. Maybe now they'll let me achieve things on my own time.

Wow. Did I really just think that? Am I THAT much a angsty teenager? Jeez. I need to get out more.

My driving instructor's voice breaks through my stream of thoughts, and I hear him say that I'll be able to re-take the test in two weeks.

"I can't." I say, "My permit expires today."

I could see his face fall, as if this had not been a part of his plan to fail me, since I believe he had decided to do that the second he got in the car. Immediately the inner schmoozer emerged, recognizing an opening in the enemy's defense. And I said, ever so sweetly-

"Well why don't we just take it again right now? You told me earlier that I was your last kid for the rest of the day..."

I could see him re-evaluate me. He was taken aback by my bold move. He fumbled the lame response of-

"Well, yes, true, but I have very important things to do. So sorry. Best of luck."

And that was it! As he got out of the car, and moved out of earshot, I allowed myself some choice curses before my dad approached.

Oh well. I was resigned by now. Time to break the news to the parentals.

"Heeeeey. Guess what! You get some more premo bonding time with your favorite illegal!"

Innocence

Kara, as she walked quickly over to the dishes station, felt suddenly something nagging at her subconscious. How strange it felt, to have some sudden awareness seep into her. She was in too much of a hurry to look and see what it was she had passed that had caught her attention, but she hoped it was what... who she thought it might be.

She couldn't turn and look yet. Not yet because her boss, Nick, was also subconsciously aware of her. Aware of everyone really. He was scary like that. He knew the second you were not working, and he would yell at you readily. Not the kind of loud-talking that often gets qualified as yelling, but ACTUAL yelling. He wasn't mean, in fact, most of the time, Kara really liked him as a boss. At least, she respected him. But currently, she didn't feel like chancing his wrath.

As she began to rush through the dishes, barely spending three seconds per dish, she chanced a look up from the suds and grimy water. Her suspicions were right. Jess was working on fries, dicing them a little too quickly to be safe, in the same way that she was barely preforming what could be qualified as washing. It made her happy to know that at the very moment that she had been walking past him, she was subconsciously aware of his presence. Even though he was ALWAYS on burgers, and never in the fry spot, today he was, and she had sensed him there immediately.

She couldn't help but smile as she splashed some sudsy water on her shirt accidentally. After all, she had KNOWN he was there, and it wasn't unlikely that he had noticed too, right? If she sensed him, he MUST have sensed her.

*

Jess smashed the potatoes in, one after another. Trying to remember the last head count he had heard for the amount of people in line. Usually six out of ten wanted fries, and he was pretty sure that, last he heard, there were twenty people in line, so that meant....

Suddenly he could feel someone watching him. As dumb as he felt, thinking that, he couldn't help but look away for a second. His eyes met Kara's. She smiled vaguely and went back to looking at the dish she was scrubbing. Weird, he thought, as he looked back at his job too. He remembered sort of... thinking about her a minute or two ago.

Jess really never thought about Kara. She was a relatively new hire, and pretty quiet. But now that he was thinking about it, he HAD had a lot of stressful run-ins with her. He was training to be a manager, and was getting close, but he obviously still made a lot of mistakes. And a lot of them seemed to be involving her. Just the other day he had accidentally given a costumer cash back from a credit-card purchase on one of Kara's orders. She was unendingly apologetic and nice, but it seemed like every mistake he made somehow involved her. He always messed up, and she always smiled.

Jess suddenly was struck with the fear that she might like him. He was then suddenly struck with the stupidity and narcissism of that fear. Just because she was nice, quiet, and smiled, did not mean that she has a crush on him! At least, he hoped she didn't. She was too young for him anyway.

He threw another potato into the dicer, smiling a little when the potato bits splattered him.

*

Kara saw, with a thrill of excitement, that Jess had smiled after looking at her. She was pretty sure she had a crush on him.